The Don’t Ask Don’t Tell policy used to apply to my love life. If I didn’t ask you for it, then I didn’t want to know! Ignorance can be bliss some of the time right? Wrong. Not when matters of the heart are concerned. But was my failure to ask those important BIG questions in reality just my indifference towards the subject matter—or my fear of what the answer to those questions might actually be? In an effort to protect myself from the potential responses (from the one I said I loved) I really just caused more harm than help.
Our imaginations, as beautiful and liberating as they can be, can also be ugly and oppressing things. Sometimes, the reality that we create there is far worse than the authentic one that surrounds us. But why? Why do we subject ourselves to the thoughts of our own personal darkly demons instead of seeking the light that is the truth and something veracious?
Fear.
Control.
We fear the unknown just like the little child fears the monster that is thought to be under the bed at night. Instead of pulling back the covers and actually seeing what lies beneath, we construct in our minds some supposed element of truth: must be the Boogey Man right? How much simpler would it be to just get to the truth of the matter than stand around coming up with possible fabrications that we (intentionally or unintentionally) disguise as truths. We as people want to be in control of everything—ESPECIALLY of what affects us, or better yet, what we let affect us. So we rationalize in our heads, and sometimes our hearts, the worst case scenarios so that nothing, even the most devastatingly impossible truths, don’t surprise us or catch us off guard. God forbid we feel anything/experience anything that is a surprise. We have to be in THE KNOW. All the time. 24/7 baby.
But how do we stop this ongoing mental (and invariably emotional) cutting? Just ask. TALK! Who is s/he? What does s/he mean to you? Where do you see this relationship going? Do you love me? Whatever the question may be! Because you just might be surprised to find that the answers are No one. Nothing. To great heights. And…Yes, with all my heart. :)
